every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
