there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
