so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
