maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
