After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize