they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
