She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I deserve this hangover.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
You left your phone here
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