my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
