Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
