But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
