the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she pinky promised me she was 18
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
