I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
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