we're blogging at a bar
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
