Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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