I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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