If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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