haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
