he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
