Your tits are I can't wait for
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
