Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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