you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
