just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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