You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
