Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
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It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
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Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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