Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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