walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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