I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
