he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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