that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
