There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
