You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
