Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
