I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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