so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize