I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
