Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
