yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
