Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize