Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
