doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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