i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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