i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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