He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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