Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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