Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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