i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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