dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
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It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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