theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
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Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
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If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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