I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
