Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
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