considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
