i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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