if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
