If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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