Apparently you make a good broom.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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