I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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