i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
