He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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