bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
