Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
