U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
