I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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